Why I’m comfortable not having a social media relationship

If you knew me, you’d be in one of two possible groups.

You would probably be someone who knows that I have been in a long distance relationship for almost two years now, or you wouldn’t. That simple.

By the way I love social media, like I have a serious and passionate addiction to it. When it comes to relationships, the same rules don’t apply. This means that my social media accounts are pretty much a relationship-free zone. My general rule is, if you know me well offline, you’ll probably know him well too.

My partner and I have discussed in great length my casual approach to publicising our relationship online. He takes no offence in my social media silence. To him, it doesn’t represent me trying to shield him from the world, but just me preferring to show my affection in a more intimate manner, for his enjoyment only.

If I’m being honest guys, I feel like there’s so much pressure to publicise what’s going on in our personal lives online, mainly for two reasons.

  1. If you didn’t post it, then it probably didn’t happen. Likes and views = Legitimacy. &…

  2. As a generation, we’re lazy and prefer to see everyone’s lives at once on a timeline rather than, you know, having one-on-one, personal conversations.

Photographs can never provide you with the full picture, and filters can distort this image even further. People see photos of us together and wonder how we managed to create such a perfect relationship, but what they don’t see is the process of how we got to that place. The hard work, compromise, arguments, heart wrenching goodbyes.

So I don’t get caught up trying to create the perfect online presence for my relationship. I try and redirect that effort into being ‘present’ with him as best as I can despite the distance. I could try and capture what we’re like in 140 characters, though I’d probably fail. I prefer writing down my thoughts, arranging them into long narrations.

I’m blessed to be with a partner who understands my quirky attitude to this issue so well, but I can imagine this being a problem for someone else. Some of the strongest relationships don’t have the world’s gaze on them at all times. But then some of the best ones do. It’s about acknowledging what works for you; knowing how you enjoy showing love and how the other person enjoys receiving it.

My love always,
GftB x

 

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